NZ forever my home
I don't know why but I kept thinking about NZ these days. About the cold prickling rain. About the smiles from random strangers. About how even though everything is foreign, I fit perfectly there. The busy Cuba street. The silent harbour at midnight. The feisty seagull. People laughing when they jump from the piers. The bustling farmer's market. Oh how my heart ache!
I guess I am missing it a lot since it's where I grew the most. I learned to understand more about my mom and her overprotectiveness. I learned to love. I learned to appreciate what I have and get rid of negativity. I had depression and battled it. I learned more about myself. I pushed my boundaries and set new limits. I stood on my two feet and be as independent as I I saw things from a different perspective. I guess I really did all my learnings there.
Now that I am adulting.. i don't know, I guess things have settled down I supposed. No more new adventures, and the only boundaries I'm pushing is of my child, on whether or not she'll eat her veges. I yearn to go back to NZ, but sometimes I wonder whether I am missing the place, or am I missing the place where I thought I was the real me.
I don't know anymore. I kept having these dreams where I was trying to board a plane to NZ, but it was either I kept missing my flight because I left my passport or I was late, or I got there but I couldn't find the Mrs Mac pie that I crave the most (this happened a lot when I was pregnant). In fact, most of my NZ dreams were when I was pregnant. I guess my mind is still trying to cope with adulting.
Pray that I find my answers.
I guess I am missing it a lot since it's where I grew the most. I learned to understand more about my mom and her overprotectiveness. I learned to love. I learned to appreciate what I have and get rid of negativity. I had depression and battled it. I learned more about myself. I pushed my boundaries and set new limits. I stood on my two feet and be as independent as I I saw things from a different perspective. I guess I really did all my learnings there.
Now that I am adulting.. i don't know, I guess things have settled down I supposed. No more new adventures, and the only boundaries I'm pushing is of my child, on whether or not she'll eat her veges. I yearn to go back to NZ, but sometimes I wonder whether I am missing the place, or am I missing the place where I thought I was the real me.
I don't know anymore. I kept having these dreams where I was trying to board a plane to NZ, but it was either I kept missing my flight because I left my passport or I was late, or I got there but I couldn't find the Mrs Mac pie that I crave the most (this happened a lot when I was pregnant). In fact, most of my NZ dreams were when I was pregnant. I guess my mind is still trying to cope with adulting.
Pray that I find my answers.
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